


Miles From Where You Are

by ariel2me



Series: Stannis & Shireen [7]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-26
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-07-02 14:52:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15798810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariel2me/pseuds/ariel2me
Summary: Stannis Baratheon, Shireen Baratheon and a late night conversation about Edric Storm, leaving Dragonstone and sailing to the Wall.





	Miles From Where You Are

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to delete my AO3 account back in April (for various reasons I won’t get into), but changed my mind after a while. A number of fics from 2012 and 2013 were already deleted, however, and I’m reposting some of them. This one was written in 2012, and it’s my first fic focusing on the Stannis-Shireen relationship.

They were watching each other warily from across the room. His daughter, still awake this late at night. Patchface was not with her, as he usually was. She seemed smaller, more vulnerable somehow, without the fool trailing behind her.

“What happened? Did you have another bad dream?”

She hesitated.  _My daughter is afraid of me. I was never in fear of my parents, yet my daughter is afraid of me._  The thought saddened him, before the sadness was driven out by regret, by the realization that her fear of him was his own doing.

“Where is Edric? Did you send him back to Storm’s End, Father?” And yet, there was no trace of fear in Shireen’s voice as she asked this question.

It had not crossed his mind how he would answer this question, if his daughter ever asked it. In fact, it had not even crossed his mind that Shireen would ask  _him_  the question. Her mother would explain things to her, as Selyse usually did. Or Maester Cressen would, back when he was still alive. And now, Maester Pylos would, in Cressen’s absence.

In truth, he did not know how close his daughter was to Pylos. Was she fond of the new maester, the way she had been very fond of Cressen? Somehow he doubted it.  _She had loved Maester Cressen_ , he knew, as he recalled watching the two of them together.  _And Cressen had loved her too._

Like a daughter?

_No, more like a granddaughter._

His daughter was watching him very carefully. “A sad, sweet, gentle child,” he had heard others spoke of her.  _Yes, but also a very discerning child_ , he thought. A child who saw and understood things most children her age would not. And a very brave child, who conquered her fear of her father to ask about the fate of her cousin.

“Ser Andrew took him to a … safer place.” Andrew Estermont, his cousin on his mother’s side. He had not heard the names of those involved in spiriting Edric away from Davos, of course. Davos had admitted sole responsibility for the act, without naming any other conspirators. But there were other ways of finding out, and Stannis had found out.

Shireen furrowed her brows. “A safer place? Was Edric in danger here? From whom?”

_From me. From your father. From his father’s brother._

She looked so terrified that Stannis wondered for a moment if he had accidentally spoken the words out loud.  _No, she’s terrified for Edric’s sake, not of my intentions. She had no knowledge of what I intended to do to her cousin._ Was that true? He was not brave enough to ask.

He considered long and hard what to tell his daughter. Finally, Stannis said, “Edric will be safer elsewhere. And we will be leaving Dragonstone soon, to sail to the Wall. Did your mother tell you that?”

The creases on her forehead told him that she was not satisfied with his answer. But the mention of the Wall brought out another barrage of questions.

“Yes, Mother told me. But she didn’t say when we will be coming home to Dragonstone. And what about Edric? What if he comes back and we’re all gone?”

 _Still a child after all_ , he mused. He was on the verge of a rare smile, when the thought came,  _She would find it patronizing, if I smile. She would think that I am not taking her concerns seriously_. He managed to stop himself from smiling in time.

“Come here,” he told his daughter. They had been conversing from across the room the whole time, with Stannis standing next to the Painted Table and Shireen standing near the door. She walked across the room so quickly that her father was surprised to find her standing next to him before he had time to compose his thoughts.

They were standing by the spot where Dragonstone was carved on the Painted Table. He held her up and sat her on the raised seat. She touched her right index finger on the carved shape of the dragons. Her tiny fingers and intense look of concentration broke his heart.

“This is where we are now. This is our home.”

“Yes, that’s Dragonstone.”

“And we are going to the Wall.” Her finger traced a path across Blackwater Bay to the land mass of Westeros, and slowly moving up North. He took her hand gently, and guided the finger back to Dragonstone.

“No, we are not going that way. We are sailing straight from Dragonstone to Eastwatch-by-the-Sea.”

Their hands traced the path together across the sea. At some point, she could not lean to the right on the raised seat any longer. She came down from the seat on her own, her fingers still holding on tight to his hand. They continued tracing the path, but this time it was her hand that was guiding his hand, as they walked side-by-side next to the Painted Table.

Somewhere around The Fingers carved on the map, he was struck by a sudden realization. Edric Storm would not have been a true sacrifice.  _I have never loved the boy. I despise him because he reminds me of how my brother shamed and humiliated me on my wedding night._ How could it be a true sacrifice, if he was not someone truly cherished and loved?

And it finally exposed what he had told Davos as the big lie that it was. “If I must sacrifice one child to the flames to save a million from the dark … Sacrifice is never easy, Davos. Or it is no true sacrifice.” He was willing to sacrifice Edric Storm  _because_  it was easy, he admitted to himself now. If it had not been easy, if it had been … if it had been someone else …

“Why have we stopped? We’re not there yet, Father.”

They continued until their fingers touched Eastwatch-by-the-Sea on the Painted Table.

“Is this where you will fight the wildlings?”

He had not realized that Selyse had told their daughter about this part too.

“No. That is where you and your mother will remain. The men and I will continue to Castle Black.”

“Why can’t we come with you?”

 _Because you are my only child, and my heir. And if I perish in the coming battle, the Iron Throne is yours by rights, by all the laws in Westeros_.

_Because I need to keep you safe, from –_

“The black brothers, the Night’s Watch men, they are not used to women and children. Do you know why?”

“They took the vow. Master Pylos taught us that. Devan, Edric and me, I mean.” Her brows furrowed in concentration again. “Will Devan go with you to Castle Black, Father?”

_She will lose another companion. It will be just Shireen and that fool Patchface again._

“Would you like Devan to stay at Eastwatch?” asked Stannis.

“No!” Shireen replied quickly. “He’s your squire. He should be with you, Father. To keep you safe.”

That last part was spoken very, very softly.

He wished he knew how to reassure, comfort, or even  _talk_  to his daughter. Davos made it seem so easy, with his own sons, and with other children.

“How far is it, from Eastwatch to Castle Black?” Shireen asked, before he had a chance to say anything.

“One day for a raven to travel,” Stannis replied. His daughter was more used to thinking of distance in terms of raven days, he knew. Maester Cressen had taught her that.

Her hand guided his finger from Eastwatch to Castle Black, and back to Eastwatch again.

“It’s not that far after all,” Shireen said, with a smile.

But he knew better than anyone that distance was not really a function of physical separation. You could live in the same castle and still be as far apart as people on the other side of the world.  _And whose fault was that? Who was the one who kept everyone at arm’s length, including his own wife and daughter?_ He dismissed his reproaching thoughts to return to his daughter.

“No, not far at all,” Stannis replied.


End file.
